RC and Plane related humour

Started by Mpowershopping, April 01, 2009, 07:05:58 PM

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Mpowershopping

I have already posted this on another forum.But i posting it here again-In a quest to win the Lama  ;)

I have always wanted to win somethin  (:|~ So the quest begins
I make my own rules

Mpowershopping

#1
Youre addicted to RC, when..

You read nothing but TX and models manuals on the can.
You have converted a mobile home to have room for all your planes, with just space enough to sleep.
Your RC ensurance costs more then your cars.
You have something RC in a radius of 5ft from you, at all times.
Your wife brags about you having sertain amazing thumb techniques. 
Youve heard "Hey, that looks just like the plane I tossed in the bin after crashing last week" more then once, at your club field.
I make my own rules

Mpowershopping

#2
-when you go to the petrol station, you ask where the glow fuel pump is

-if you plan to go outside for any reason, and it's windy, you go back inside again and find out when it's due to be calm next

-you try to remove the spark plug from your car with a glow-plug wrench

-when the power steering goes, you tell the people at the car garage to change the servo
I make my own rules

Mpowershopping

#3
If you worked feverishly in all your free time, it would take three years to clear up you backlog of kits.

There are pictures of your models in your office but none of your wife.

You host a fun fly when it's so cold that one of the events is starting your engine.

You accept a crash as an opportunity to start that great new kit.
I make my own rules

Mpowershopping

You think the perfect weekend is defined by having a good day at the flying field followed by a frisky evening with the Mrs.....but you'd settle for a good day at the field.
I make my own rules

Mpowershopping

You keep your old van just to transport planes in.

Every piece of material you hold in your hands, you wonder if it would make a good plane.

You start a ministry, and the focus is RC planes.
I make my own rules

Mpowershopping


Your yard has funny looking putholes all over the place, yet theres no mole near your yard for miles.
The smooth tarmac biketrail at your local park has funny airport markings sprayed on it.
People at the park start asking "What kept you so long??".
Your car has a skibox on its roof, yet you NEVER go skieing.
You have a "special room" for your planes.
You have a gallon drum of adhesive in your shed.
You have atleast 3 different heating irons.
Your neck shows a white strip, that is the same width as your TX strap.
You take a lawnmower with you, to the park.
I make my own rules

Mpowershopping

When you go out of town on vacation, and as soon as you get to the motel, you open the yellow pages to "Hobby Shops"

When your Master Card statement reflects all of the charges to a single store

When you put the cheapest gas possible in your $30,000 car, but you insist on at least 15% nitro for your OS 46.

When the address book in Outlook Express is almost all RC buddies!
I make my own rules

Mpowershopping

you call from the field and wish your wife a happy anniversary.
you go into full blown withdrawl during the winter.
you forget the milk but remember the cya.
you buy kids shampoo and keep the cute little figure on the cap and throw the shampoo away.
I make my own rules

Mpowershopping

Your birthday gifts come from other clubmembers letting you get a few flights on their planes.

You just blew up your Rc motor and think that the Piston rod combo makes a great key fob.

Your friends come to your house to borrow stuff because you have a greater inventory that the LHS.

You are the only person at the field during bad weather flying your plane.

You make RC purchases for projects 3 years in the future due to all of your current RC projects.

You wonder how many RC engines it would take to power your car.
I make my own rules

Mpowershopping

Pilot: "DAMN! That was close..."
IAD Tower: "Delta 560, what seems to be the problem?"
Pilot (catching his breath), "Near miss- was he ever close!"
IAD Tower: "Delta 560, how close was it?"
Pilot: "Well, I can tell you one thing, it was a white boy flying it."
I make my own rules

Mpowershopping

Northwest 605: "Northwest 605 request taxi to the active MSP."
Ground: "Northwest 605 taxi to runway **, follow the CRJ, you will be number two."
Northwest 605: "Roger, we will follow the Smurf-Jet."
Flagship 5600: "At least my airplane does not qualify for an AARP membership.."

(For those who don't know, AARP is the American Association of Retired Persons, and CRJ stands for Canadair Regional Jet.)
I make my own rules

anwar

Well, I hope you don't win  ;D  

Because...

1) According to Rule [3] posted at http://www.rcindia.org/free-donations-and-sweepstakes/the-rc-india-1k-sweepstakes/, all hobby shop owners are excluded.

and

2) I sincerely hope some newcomer wins it !

BTW, I am open to bending the rules, if you are keen on participating  ;)
Hangar : Please see my introduction.
RC India forum and me : About this forum.

Mpowershopping

 A friend of the family used to fly for US Air, and told us this tale of how one day his plane was one of many trying to land at a busy airport. One of the controllers came on and reported something happened to cause a further delay and that those planes in a holding pattern would need to stay there. Almost immediately, one of the pilots responded with, "****!" The controller then said something to the effect of, "Sir, the use of profane language is prohibited on this channel by FAA and FCC regulations. Please identify yourself." After a moment, one of the pilots reported, "This is flight 123 and we are negative on the ****." A moment after that, another flight reported in, "This is flight 456 and we are also negative on the ****." One by one, each and every one of the flights reported in as being "negative on the ****."
I make my own rules

Mpowershopping

#14
Quote from: anwar on April 01, 2009, 07:32:25 PM
Well, I hope you don't win  ;D  

I Dont own a hobby shop I just work There(as a owner)  ;).Also I am a new comer to Helis  ;D
I make my own rules

Mpowershopping

My brother is an air traffic controller, and has two favorite conversations he recounts. One of them I'm sure is a true story, because I was there when it happened; the other is completely consistent with his personality. The first was as a small General Aviation airport in the midwest. A student doing touch-and-go's reported flying past some geese on his downwind leg. The controller responded with "Skipper 3846 Sierra cleared for the option break break attention all aircraft caution watertory migrafowl reported north of the airfield." After a pause somebody responded "You mean, like, birds?" The controller, without hestitation, replied, "Yes sir!"
I make my own rules

Mpowershopping

A huge C-5 cargo plane was sitting near where a small plane was waiting to take off. The private pilot got a little nervous because the military plane was closer than normal, and asked the tower to find out the intentions of the C-5. Before the tower could reply, a voice came over the radio as the C-5's nose cargo doors opened, saying, "I'm going to eat you."
I make my own rules

Mpowershopping

A story from the late 1950's Navy flight training at Corpus Christi, Texas. Instructors were known to party hard at night, even before a 'hop' the next morning. A common 'cure' was to put on the mask and breathe the pure oxygen while the trainee got the craft airborne. The SNJ training aircraft had a tandum cockpit with intercom for personal communication between the instructor and the trainee. These 'private' communications would be broadcast on air if the intercom switch were accidentally left open. One such morning following a heavy night for one particular instructor, not long after the flight was aloft, the following was heard over the air: "Boy, am I ever f...ed up this morning." After a lengthy pause a young lady air traffic controller demanded: "Aircraft making that last transmission, please identify yourself." There was an even lengthier pause, and then a voice said: "Lady, I'm not that f...ed up."
I make my own rules

Mpowershopping

The Stapleton runways were so close together that aircraft on parallel runways had to see each other and provide visual separation before Control could issue an approach clearance. Commonly when pilots were asked if had they had traffic in sight they would lazily respond with, "I see some lights," which, frustratingly, did not meet requirements for approach clearance. One very busy night a particular crew would not report the traffic in sight. Finally the pilot said, "I see some lights over there." The controller responded in a vexed tone, "Is there an aircraft attached to those lights?" Laughing, the pilot responded, "Why I do believe there is. Thanks we have the aircraft in sight." For that crew at least, the point was made.
I make my own rules

Mpowershopping

After being informed by a pilot cleared to land in Fayetteville that he now had two light aircraft cleared to land on opposite ends of the same runway, the controller paused and transmitted "Y'all be careful now."
I make my own rules

Mpowershopping

A newly promoted Military Liaison Officer was standing the morning watch at Oakland ARTCC. His former controller team mates sent an assistant to the front desk, requesting permission from the new MLO to start the 'wind tunnels' at Moffett NAS (there weren't any of course). Not wanting to appear ignorant, the MLO granted the request. After notifying the front desk a short time later that there were reports of severe to extreme turbulence in the vicinity of San Carlos, Palo Alto and San Jose airports, the controllers watched in glee as the rookie supervisor grabbed the 'hot phone' and bellowed to the watch supervisor at Moffett (and through the loudspeakers at every other ATC facility in Oakland's area), "This is the Oakland Center Supervisor and I'm ordering you to immediately shut off that f...ing fan!"
I make my own rules

Mpowershopping

A young, newly checked out local controller at Logan Airport granted the request of a Trans Portuguese "707" to use non-active 15R (the longest runway) for departure and cleared the plane to "taxi into position and hold". Seeing what he thought was a short pause coming in crossing operations, he told the crew to "Be ready and spool 'em up!" The old "oil burner" sat on the runway with fire walled engines belching clouds of black smoke over nearby neighborhoods for many minutes. Only when the ground controller announced that airport fire apparatus was responding to a major fire in East Boston did anyone in the tower realize that the rookie (now stirring his newly poured coffee) had forgotten the plane and everything from Orient Heights to the Mystic River Bridge had disappeared in his exhaust.
I make my own rules

Mpowershopping

A military pilot had been having difficulty with smooth landings and the crew was required to make note of the exact time the plane landed at different bases. One particular landing took several bounces before staying on the ground. The crew reportedly called up to the pilot, "Which landing shall we note for the record, Sir?"
I make my own rules

Mpowershopping

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
I make my own rules

Mpowershopping

"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
"Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
I make my own rules